


i love when it rains

by mangoedges



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Fluff, Food, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Self-Hatred, Soft Corpse Husband (Video Blogging RPF), Soft Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29529765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangoedges/pseuds/mangoedges
Summary: Corpse loves Sykkuno.
Relationships: Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 353





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is really self-indulgent and I might be working out some of my own feelings about being chronically ill in it, ahem.
> 
> Based on their online personas, etc.

_Sykkuno: hey corpse :)_

_Corpse: hey sykkuno :) how r u_

_Sykkuno: im good! just gonna go eat dinner. wbu?_

_Corpse: idk i'm not hungry so... what are u gonna eat?_

_Sykkuno: a hot pocket :p_

_Corpse: sounds good lol_

_Sykkuno: yeah! are u gonna play tomorrow?_

_Corpse: wouldn't miss it for the world :) esp if ur playing_

_Sykkuno: i also wouldn't miss it for the world!! :) happy to see u there, corpse!_

_Corpse: ofc:)_

"I am so whipped," Corpse announced to his ceiling. He lay sprawled out on his bed, his joints aching and pain pulsing through his body. It was a struggle to even lift his phone, but there was no way he would just leave _Sykkuno_ on read. Thankfully for the pins and needles in his arms, Sykkuno seemed to have left to enjoy his Hot Pocket. He vaguely wondered what flavor it was. Not that he could eat one. It would be hell on his GERD most likely.

Corpse sighed, drumming his fingers on his leg. He had absently promised a stream tomorrow but if he still felt like this when he woke up, he wasn't sure that was the best of ideas. He could still _play_ (he thought even in the midst of a brain aneurysm, he'd somehow find a way to play for Sykkuno), but streaming and playing were two different ventures.

"I'll see," he croaked aloud. He needed to take his meds. Maybe that would help loosen the spikes of pain currently stabbed through most of his body. He shoved himself up right through sheer force of will, stumbling to the kitchen for a bottle of water. He didn't trust his grip enough to try a glass today. He'd broken enough glasses already in the past several months alone. He didn't need another added to the collection.

His meds were bitter on the way down. He needed to eat himself in a little while, but the thought of eating made his stomach churn. Thankfully, his phone buzzed again. Glad for the distraction, Corpse snatched it out of his pocket and swiped. 

Sykkuno had sent a picture. It was of him and Bimbus. He was kneeling next to the dog, half-finished Hot Pocket in one hand, the other hand covering up a joyous smile, as Bimbus tried to get to his Hot Pocket. His hair floated around his head like a halo. Corpse smiled at that, answering without a second thought.

_Corpse: i see you have a furry little problem there :p_

_Sykkuno: he wants my hot pocket :( no hot pocket for bimbus_

_Corpse: hot pockets are terrible for dogs probably lol_

_Sykkuno: yeah... oh well._

_Corpse: i took my meds so i have to eat now :/_

_Sykkuno: oh! are you ok?_

_Corpse: yeah i'm fine, it was just time to take them. but i have to have food 30 mins after, so. takeout time for me ig._

_Sykkuno: i hope u find something u like :)_

_Corpse: thanks me too_

_I wish you were here with me-_ Corpse swiftly deleted the words before he could be tempted to send them. They were inappropriate. Weren't they? Sure, he joked around with Sykkuno a lot, especially on stream, but that was- that was different than talking to him privately. What if he made Sykkuno uncomfortable? He didn't think he would be able to live with himself if he did.

While he waited to see if Sykkuno would reply again, he checked out the app for his favorite takeout place. If he couldn't eat it all tonight, it would make pretty nice leftovers. Better than his usual fare of "shit I forgot to go grocery shopping this week, what hasn't gone off yet."

Takeout finally acquired, Corpse snapped a photo of the bag and sent it to Sykkuno, humming absently to himself as he unpacked the food. His phone buzzed not a minute later, making him wonder if Sykkuno was as attuned to his replies as he was to Sykkuno's.

_Sykkuno: that looks good! :)_

_Corpse: should be :)_

He carefully did not add how much he wished Sykkuno was there to help him eat it. That wasn't something a friend said, was it? He had no idea.

He still wished it as he sat at his empty kitchen table, forcing food down his throat that might as well have been ashes for all he tasted it. He couldn't wait until tomorrow. While he still hadn't made up his mind about streaming, he couldn't wait to see Sykkuno's green bean body dancing around his own, or hearing Sykkuno meme an entire round through, until nobody could tell if he was crewmate, impostor, or jester.

"The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you get to play," Corpse told himself, shuffling his way across the kitchen to throw out his trash and put away his leftovers. He nearly mixed the two chores up, saving himself by virtue of jerking his hand away from the trash bin.

Shocking himself, Corpse managed to lie down and fall asleep in record time.

He dreamed about Sykkuno.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter is going to be from Sykkuno's point of view. If everything works the way I want it to. So that might change lol.

"It can't be Corpse!" Sykkuno vehemently defended. "He was with me on the right side, almost the entire round."

"Yeah," Corpse contributed. "It can't be Sykkuno."

"Are you just shrimping for him?" Rae asked, doubtful.

"No!" Sykkuno exclaimed. "It's true. We weren't anywhere _near_ the body." Corpse leaned back in his chair, massaging around the edges of his eye patch as he listened to the others debate who the killer could be. So far, Toast and Ash were prime suspects, and if he had to guess, it was both of them.

He had managed to force himself to stream, but he doubted it had been a good idea. He didn't know what to say and kept fumbling over his words. He knew that the people watching wouldn't yell at him or anything, but his own fear of failure produced a massive lump in his throat, made his hands shake as he attempted to do his tasks. He still had card swipe to do and to be completely honest, he hoped that either they caught the impostors or he was killed before he could complete it. It was common for ghosts not to complete their tasks, right? He wasn't really up for another 30+ tries in front of a live audience.

"Sorry, guys." He forced the words out of too-tight throat. "I haven't really slept in a couple days." From out of the corner of his eye, he watched the messages of sympathy pour in and winced. He would never understand why people watched him. Could never understand why he'd blown up the way that he had. Sometimes it felt like all he was doing was waiting for the come down. Fame was fleeting. When would it all burst beneath him, dumping him back down to earth?

He dragged his attention back to the screen, just in time to watch Toast kill him. He sagged in relief. No more meetings to slog through this round. He could just float around and do what he wanted.

"Who could have killed Corpse?!" Sykkuno exclaimed in dismay, as Toast self-reported.

"Was it a self report?" Rae asked, her tone full of mischief.

"No," Toast denied, but even Corpse could hear that it was his impostor voice. Toast was off his game, at least a little. He wondered why as the meeting continued. He hoped Toast was all right. Sykkuno led the charge, finally admitting to himself that it could have been Toast.

Not even Corpse expected Sykkuno to actually _vote_ for him, though. His mouth fell open a little in surprise as Toast's little cyan bean body was shoved out the airlock, floating away into the depths of space. Huh. So that happened.

"Justice has been served," he proclaimed, laughing to himself.

Ash followed soon after, protesting her innocence all the way to the Victory screen.

"LG, guys?" Rae asked.

"LG! LG!" peppered the Discord call, and Corpse reluctantly added his agreement. It had been a couple of hours already, but time did funny things in the presence of Sykkuno. It both flitted away like a particularly voracious hummingbird and oozed like a slick trail of molasses across his floor. 

Streaming kept him at least a _little_ grounded, though. Enough that he managed not to groan out loud, even when Impostor popped up on his screen. His partner? Sykkuno.

_Please don't let me embarrass myself,_ Corpse thought, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he trailed the others to his first fake task. He glanced quickly at the list of fake tasks on his screen. So they did have keys. Keys and card swipe. That was good to know. No point faking wires then.

"Sorry, guys, I'm just concentrating," he said out loud. "If it's LG, I wanna win, you know?" He glanced at his chat for a moment. Most people seemed understanding, sending encouraging messages of love and support. There were a couple assholes, but they were quickly drowned out. 

Their words still lodged uncomfortably in his chest as he followed Sykkuno around at a distance. While everyone was spread out, they double killed in Lab, both of them disappearing into a vent after. Corpse wheezed a laugh as Sykkuno hopped in and out of the vent a couple of times, luckily ending up _in_ the vent as Ash came into Med Bay from Specimen.

"Double kill!" Ash shouted, as soon as the meeting came up. "In Lab."

"Where is everyone?" Toast asked.

"Comms," Sykkuno said. No one spoke up to deny his claim. "Um, I'm in Comms."

"Getting to Weapons," Corpse lied. Thankfully, the others were scattered across the map. O2, Electrical, Storage, Specimen... It seemed no one could see another person, which made it that much easier to lie.

"So we have no info?" Rae piped up.

"None," Toast confirmed.

His streak of luck continued, as he killed Ash in water wheels and disappeared back out the open door. No one was on the cameras, so he heaved a sigh of relief. His kill button flashed. Huh. So Sykkuno probably got a kill, too. They just needed another double kill, and they would win. He watched his kill cool down count down, idly thanking super chats and new members as he did so. As soon as it flashed 'kill,' he went hunting, meeting up with Sykkuno. Toast and Rae were at vitals, Toast turning to (in all likelihood) run to the button-

He never got the chance. The Victory screen flashed and he heard Sykkuno's giddy laughter rise above the shocked murmur of the others.

"Good job, Sykkuno," he complimented, his own laughter sharp and breathless. 

"We did it!" Sykkuno exclaimed. "We did it, Corpse!" His chest warmed at Sykkuno's joyous words, making him swallow hard.

It broke up soon after that, and Corpse ended the stream with a string of apologies and an exhortation to see him on Twitter. Sykkuno hadn't quite ended his stream yet, so he felt no qualm about opening it up in a new tab, watching Sykkuno cover his mouth with one hand, smiling so widely that his hand had a hard time covering it up.

"I'm glad I got Impostor with Corpse," Sykkuno confided to the camera. "It's been a while. That was so much fun, guys. So much fun." He rambled on, thanking his viewers, and Corpse drank it all in, his cheeks flushed and his eyes suspiciously damp.

As soon as Sykkuno ended his stream, Corpse sent him a message on Discord. 

_Corpse: hey that was fun :) we make a good team_

_Sykkuno: corpse!! yeah we do, that was great!_

_Corpse: yeah :)_

_Sykkuno: what are you up to now? :)_

_Corpse: idk, staring at the ceiling and wishing for death, the usual :p_

_Sykkuno: omg corpse_

_Sykkuno: are you ok?_

_Corpse: ajldfajd; yeah i'm fine don't worry, i just dunno what i'm doing_

_Sykkuno: dinner? dino nuggets?_

_Corpse: ....sure, why not :) are you having dino nuggets lol_

_Sykkuno: .......maybe_

_Corpse: well we'll have dino nuggets together then :p_

_Sykkuno: yay!_

Corpse swallowed, his throat tight.

"Why am I such an idiot?" He asked himself, finally remembering to take off his eye patch and flinging it to the side. It was still hard to read his phone screen, but he could dial down the brightness and make it a little more bearable. He placed an order for dino nuggets, laughing at himself as he did.

He wondered how many Sykkuno got. What sauces he got. Did he like plain ketchup? Or did he spice it up with barbecue? Ranch, for a curveball? Honey mustard? Something else?

Would it be weird to ask?

_Corpse: what do you eat your nuggets with btw_

_Corpse: like dipping sauce lol_

_Sykkuno: i can't remember what i got omg_

_Sykkuno: i can show you when it gets here if you want?_

_Corpse: sure :)_

Corpse collapsed on the couch, rubbing his forehead with one hand. He almost didn't stir when the doorbell rang. Almost.

Then he remembered how shitty it would be to the delivery driver and peeled himself off the sofa, adjusting his mask as he went. He'd grabbed an assortment of sauces because he couldn't remember what he liked with chicken nuggets, and he took a photo and sent it to Sykkuno.

_Sykkuno: here's mine! :)_ He sent a picture. It was of him, holding up a dinosaur-shaped nugget in one hand and covering his laugh with the other. Sauce dripped off one end of the nugget, answering that particular question.

_Corpse: looks good lol_ He wasn't brave enough to fully reciprocate, but he did dip a nugget in mustard and hold it up to his chest, taking a photo mostly of his black shirt and his hand, bracelets jangling against themselves.

_Sykkuno: nice! :) i um, i like your bracelets_

And Corpse knew he was going to cherish that sentence just a little too long. _It means nothing,_ he tried to convince himself, but he already knew he wouldn't be successful.

Sykkuno was going to be the death of him, wasn't he?

And then he remembered his merch offer. _I could hand deliver it?_

Before he lost his nerve, he seized his phone and typed. His fingers wouldn't stop shaking, making him have to keep backspacing and re-typing. Finally, he ended up with a message he was semi-satisfied with and hit 'send' before he could overthink it even more.

_Corpse: thanks :) also btw, that offer to hand deliver my merch is uh, it's still on the table. if you want. :)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not as happy with this as the rest, but I'm too tired to re-write it and see if I like it any better. :P
> 
> Also, thank you for liking this story! It's making me so happy that people actually like it!

_Corpse: thanks :) also btw, that offer to hand deliver my merch is uh, it's still on the table. if you want. :)_

Sykkuno dropped his phone.

Thankfully, it landed on the bed, where it bounced off a pillow and sat innocently, screen glare making it difficult for Sykkuno to re-read those fateful words. He couldn't be serious. Could he? He knew how seriously Corpse took his privacy. He'd never even seen the man's face, although he knew what the rest of him looked like. He'd seen the Anthony Padilla interview. Actually, he'd watched it over and over, then downloaded it and edited out only the Corpse parts, so he could re-watch them specifically. Not that he didn't like the other faceless Youtubers! Their parts were interesting, too, of course. It was just, well.

It was different when it was Corpse.

Blinking, Sykkuno finally remembered he needed to _reply_ and dove for his phone, typing out a response with shaking fingers.

_Sykkuno: um, that would be great! as long as you're comfortable with it, of course. i would never want to make you uncomfortable._

_Corpse: i know <3 but uh, i wouldn't have offered if i didn't mean it lol :p so uh...how do we wanna do this? :)_

_Sykkuno: um, i'm free just about any day pretty much :) so whatever's good with you!_

_Corpse: two days? is that enough time or should i wait_

Sykkuno spluttered on a mouthful of spit, choking on it and coughing harshly. Two _days_? He could see Corpse in as little as _two days_? Well, that was a no-brainer.

_Sykkuno: sounds good to me! :)_ And then, before he could chicken out, he added his address.

_Corpse: thanks sykkuno :) its a date then lol_

_Sykkuno: yeah!! i can't wait <3 oh! um no pressure tho if you don't feel like you can... i mean, i won't be mad or anything._

_Corpse: you're the best <3_

Sykkuno stuffed a cooling dino nugget in his mouth, chewing furiously as his mind raced over the last few messages. _It's a date._ He _knew_ Corpse didn't mean it like _that_. He just meant it literally. It's the day. That was all he could have meant.

Sykkuno still wanted it to mean something else. His mind wandered to the first time he met Corpse, in an Among Us lobby. He hadn't known what to expect. He just knew that Corpse had a special voice. And when he talked... Well, he certainly hadn't expected _that._ The man's laugh washed over him, making him desperately wish that he knew him better. That he knew him in real life. That he could joke and make him laugh again, that sweet music to Sykkuno's ears. That he-

Sykkuno swallowed hard, his throat dry.

_Sykkuno: no, you ;)_

_Corpse: no it's definitely you_

_Sykkuno: i guess we have to agree it's both of us then :p_

_Corpse: ok fine, i can agree on that if it means you agree you're the best :p_

_Sykkuno: :) deal_

He took a deep, shuddering breath, flopping back on his bed and narrowly avoiding his dino nuggets. He's going to _meet Corpse_. What if Corpse hated meeting him in person? What if he regretted it? It was one thing to talk on Discord and see each other in Among Us games, but what if Corpse discovered that Sykkuno in real life was a pretty poor imitation of someone worthy of knowing? Sykkuno wasn't- he wasn't anything special. He wasn't like _Corpse_ , that was for sure. He was just... well, himself.

What if Corpse never wanted to talk to him again? What if Corpse told everyone else about it, and they all started to ignore him, too? He couldn't- he couldn't take that, his friends were the most important part of his life, and he _knew_ he didn't deserve them, but he _tried_ -

Sykkuno didn't realize that he was having a panic attack until blackness began to encroach on the edges of his vision, his ears blaring with static and his chest hitching for a breath that just would not come. His hands were shaking, fisted in his hair. It hurt, tugging at his hair like that, but the sharp sting of pain was just enough to coax him back to himself. His heart felt like it wanted to break his rib cage as he panted for breath, mouth hanging open.

"Whoa," he said shakily to himself, as he began to calm down. "It's- it will be fine. Nothing will- it won't go wrong. Corpse won't hate me."

He wished that he believed his own words.

He had to stream the next day, but he found himself wishing that he could beg off. He knew that technically, he could, nothing was _forcing_ him to stream. Heck, he could even just play the game with his friends and not stream it. He'd done it before. It was okay.

But-

He hated breaking promises. He hated not showing up. He felt like all of it was ephemeral. It could disappear at a moment's notice. He wasn't as popular as Corpse or anything, but he didn't think he could take it if everyone just _left_. If everyone decided he wasn't worth it anymore.

And if he didn't stream, then wouldn't people be disappointed? Wouldn't he-

"Stop," he whispered. He stuffed a dino nugget in his mouth, even though they were cold by now and he would need to re-heat the rest. It would be _fine_. He could stream. He could play with his friends. He could talk and laugh and make jokes and smile. He could meet Corpse in two days. Everything would be fine.

It wasn't fine.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might like writing out their text messages too much. I'm not sorry.

Corpse frowned the second he opened Sykkuno's stream. He wasn't sure what it was- Sykkuno looked much the same as always, in a red hoodie and slightly disheveled hair- but there was a guardedness to his expression and a slight sheen in his eyes that made worry sprout from already anxiety-rich soil in Corpse's brain. 

_Something's wrong._

But he didn't know _what_ , and he already knew that Sykkuno wouldn't say a word publicly. He was a very private person.

Corpse's fingers twitched toward his phone. He ached to message Sykkuno, to ask him what was wrong, to reassure him that everything would be okay. _When the stream's done,_ he promised himself, taking a long sip of water. It didn't soothe his throat as much as he hoped it would. _I'll message him when the stream's done._ He was under no illusion that Sykkuno would actually _tell_ him what was wrong, but even if he could only make Sykkuno smile for a moment, it would be worth it.

"Do you ever _stop_?"

The question made Corpse's head snap back toward the screen, his jaw burning from how tightly he'd clenched it. It was brief- heart-achingly brief- but Sykkuno looked absolutely _devastated_.

"I-" Sykkuno stopped. "I just- I just wanted to make people laugh."

"Well, you failed," the person continued. Corpse didn't recognize their name. Didn't _want_ to recognize their name. He _wanted_ to recognize the imprint of his knuckles in their fucking face, though. Wanted to tattoo bruises on their cheekbones like a promise.

But Sykkuno wouldn't like that. He would- he would hate that, actually. So Corpse slowly tried to unclench his jaw, tried to focus on the screen where Sykkuno's face floated. It blurred and Corpse dimly realized he was crying. He roughly brushed away the tears, just in time to see Sykkuno end stream without a word.

Corpse nearly dived for his phone, tapping out a message with shaky fingers.

_Corpse: you ok?_

It took several long moments to see that Sykkuno was typing, but when Corpse saw the little notification, he breathed a sigh of relief.

_Sykkuno: u um...u saw the stream huh_

_Corpse: yeah i did <3_

_Sykkuno: i'm sorry_

_Corpse: for what?_

_Sykkuno: just ending stream like that... ppl are gonna be so mad at me :/_

_Corpse: then those people can fuck off, you're allowed to be upset_

_Sykkuno: am i?_

"Who _hurt_ you," Corpse breathed at his phone screen.

_Corpse:_ _of course you are, sykkuno. you're always allowed to be upset at people <3 it isn't your fault someone decided to be a jerk_

_Sykkuno: but what if he was right? i mean... i upset him, isn't that bad?_

_Corpse: if someone is annoying you just because they like making people laugh, then it's fucked up to talk to them the way he did. he could have left himself or just ignored you. he chose to be an asshole instead. that isn't your fault._

_Sykkuno: sorry... i shouldn't... i mean, i'm fine now, i shouldn't take up more of your time_

_Corpse: i love it when you take up my time, sykkuno <3 you aren't burdening me or something, i promise <3_

_Sykkuno: thank you, corpse <3 i just...today's just a bad day i guess_

_Corpse: some days are just like that... but tomorrow could be better <3 _

_Sykkuno: seeing you would make my day better :p_

_Sykkuno: i'm sorry! was that too um... i mean, did that make you uncomfortable?_

_Corpse: not in the slightest <3 talking to you always makes my day better_

_Sykkuno: even when i'm having a bad day? :p_

_Corpse: especially then, if it means i can cheer you up <3_

_Sykkuno: that's really sweet of u, thank u_

_Corpse: any day, sykkuno <3_

He drums his fingers absently on his leg while he waits for Sykkuno to reply. Tear tracks dry on his face, making him slightly itchy. He suddenly can't wait to see Sykkuno, to actually see him, living and breathing and right _there_ , where he can tou- hug him maybe, or something.

_Sykkuno: um...you still wanna meet up, right?_

_Corpse: of course!! <3 nothing could change that_

_Sykkuno: what if...what if i was the zodiac killer?_

_Corpse: you aren't ted cruz, so i don't have to worry there_

_Sykkuno: omg_

_Corpse: seriously tho <3 i can't wait to see you tomorrow_

_Sykkuno: me either :)_

_Sykkuno: <3_

"The heart emoji," Corpse said aloud, half-laughing. "He sent me a heart emoji. I've peaked in this world." He was tempted to type that out and send it, too, but then thought better of it. It was sent separately, so Sykkuno had obviously second guessed it a little. If he drew attention to it, he might make Sykkuno uncomfortable.

His back twinged as he stood up, carefully clutching his phone to his chest. He wanted to lie down, but his legs were wooden and wobbly.

_Sykkuno: u ok? did i say something wrong?_

_Corpse: no i was just moving to my bed, that's all :p_

_Sykkuno: oh! rough night?_

_Corpse: just a little pain, that's all :p_

"If I call it little enough, maybe it will listen," he mumbled, easing himself on his bed and under the covers. His jeans dug uncomfortably into his hips, but he couldn't contort himself enough to wiggle out of them. Not yet. 

_Sykkuno: i'm sorry you're in pain <3_

_Corpse: thanks, sykkuno <3 _

"Tomorrow," Corpse breathed, a dreamy smile coming to his face. "I'll see him _tomorrow_."

Suddenly, tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.


End file.
